


The Pestos

by SnailSong



Category: Ratatouille (2007)
Genre: M/M, Mob Family AU, VERY GOOD FIC, human remy, i thought i would ease into linguini/remy but i went straight for it, linguini is 18 and remy is 22, remy isa human dont worry, their family name is pesto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 12:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11691420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnailSong/pseuds/SnailSong
Summary: Ratatouille AU where Linguini is born into a mob family and when he is of age he is expected to join the business. After a couple months of apprenticeship they give Linguini his first assignment: teach the rival mob a lesson about stealing. The lesson? Murder.Linguini can't bring himself to follow through with the killing the first try. However, everything changes for him when he meets a little guy named Remy. With a little help from the ex-gang member, Remy, Linguini is able to rise through the ranks and become a highly respected mobster in his family. Along the way, he finds an unlikely friend who may even become his lover.





	The Pestos

When he was little, Linguini couldn’t wait for his eighteenth birthday. Eighteen always sounded so  _ grown-up _ to him. It didn’t occur to him until his twelfth birthday what being eighteen meant: joining the family business. Regardless, Linguini always held onto a small shred of hope that his eighteenth birthday would be one-to-remember.

So, here he was, surrounded by people who range from distant high school acquaintances to the children of  high-end business partners of his father, Gusteau. Unlike the other kids attending the party, Linguini sat off to the side sipping the wine his mother gave him this morning. A pristine bottle of Cheval Blanc that had been aging since 1947. It was enough to make him tear up when she gave it to him. Sometimes Linguini wished she hadn’t stayed with his father when she fell pregnant. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his father, it was that Linguini didn’t like what his father was involved with.

Linguini went back into the party to celebrate himself. He got a little tipsy--well, okay he got super drunk. It was okay though. It was his eighteenth birthday, his  _ magical  _ day, and damn it if he didn’t deserve to let loose. 

 

“Uhh thas weird,” Linguini slurred his words and blinked several times. He kept seeing this small guy, keeping to himself but remaining incredibly attentive to his surroundings. The reason Short Dude (as Linguini began to call him) stuck out in Linguini’s mind was that he seemed to always be staring at Linguini. The gaze was so intense Linguini had to look away each time to prevent himself from turning the color of marinara sauce. His father would have called him a pussy for behaving like this. Pestos weren’t bashful, especially not around other men.

 

“Lin-weeny whats, whats weird cousin?” Emile’s voice stirred Linguini away from his thoughts. His cousin, Emile, was so far gone at this point that Linguini could say anything and it wouldn’t matter.

 

“That small broody hottie keeps looking at this hot piece of ass,” Linguini stated whilst he gestured toward his body, making sure to emphasize his crotch area. Emile sputtered out his drink and fell to the ground laughing. Linguini chuckled then made up his mind: he would go confront Short Dude. 

 

The alcohol in his system worked wonders for Linguini’s confidence. He all but strutted over to the smaller man, may have even twirled once or twice. He was so into it that he didn’t even check to see if the man was paying attention. And apparently he was paying attention, and he was paying it very closely.

 

“Whoa there, be careful. You aren’t so steady on your feet right now, are you?” oh! the man was very charming, Linguini thought. At some point in his catwalk performance, Linguini got his lanky legs tangled up and began to take a fall. However, this short man was surprisingly quick on his feet and he used his whole body to prevent Linguini from crashing into the hard wood of the Pestos’ patio.

 

“You’re so strong for such a little man, I think I like that,” Linguini’s droopy eyelids and small smile told the man everything: he was drunk as a cantaloupe in Vegas. The man set him on his feet and tried to hide his chortle. Linguini’s eyes shot open, evidently, he had just processed the flirtation he unintentionally shared. 

“Uhh, wait um, what I meant was, I didn’t--” the small man found it increasingly adorable that Linguini was trying to save himself from such a blatant compliment.

 

“Relax, Linguini. I’m Remy. Sort of a friend of a friend. How’s your special day going?” the man, Remy, said this with such ease and grace, Linguini thought it unfair that this man could be drinking as much as himself yet be largely unaffected. Remy coughed a little then gestured with his chin towards his outstretched hand. Linguini scrambled to grasp the smaller palm with his own, larger, sweatier palm.

 

“Uh, Linguini, but you already knew that. Err, hi thanks for coming, you know, to my thing,” Linguini was sure he could not have done this worse, but Remy didn’t seem to mind. If anything, he was amused by Linguini’s attempt to begin small-talk. Maybe Remy did feel a little bad that he didn’t clue Linguini into his reciprocated attraction, but he thought it best to save that for a better, more sober day.

 

\------

 

“And then Dad said, ‘It’s time for you to contribute to the Pesto family business!’ pfft. Like I’d ever want to do that” Linguini shared with Remy. Despite the increase in alcohol, Linguini was becoming more coherent. Just a couple hours ago he was practically drooling over Remy, now here he was baring his soul for this man roughly half his size. Linguini had never told anyone of his reservations, but something about Remy made him feel safe.

“Like, I get it whatever familia and all that. But what if I want to just cook or be an artist or something? Why do I have to be a Pesto?” each question was punctuated by the slamming of shot glasses on the table. Remy kept nodding and grunting in approval to his rants. He wasn’t adding much but Linguini could tell that Remy wanted him to release his stress.

 

After Linguini got out all his frustrations, Remy finally spoke up. “Man, I know what you mean. I spent five years working the streets for my family. Hated every minute of it. Couldn’t wait to get out” Remy’s voice straight dripped malice, and of course, this tinged at Linguini’s throat. He cleared his thought in a totally casual and normal way before he looked up at Remy. Except, this time, Remy wasn’t looking at him. His eyes were on his lap where he twiddled his fingers and picked at a thread from his leather jacket. 

 

Before Linguini even had the chance to respond, Remy was standing up and moving the bottle of liquor away from them. 

 

“I better get going. It’s been really nice talking to you. I can’t wait to see you again,” the broad smile on Remy’s face distracted Linguini so well he didn’t even notice the soft hug and kiss to the cheek that Remy gave him. He felt something brush past the back pockets of his jeans.

 

“Don’t forget to call me,” Remy winked and turned away from Linguini, leaving him speechless in his own backyard.

 

It took Linguini a solid five minutes to finally snap out of his trance and reach back into his pocket to find the small slip of paper that wasn’t there when he put the jeans on for the party. It read: “I’ll teach you a thing or two, Remy XO” with a phone number below the message. This time Linguini didn’t fight the blush that flourished from the pit of his stomach up to the tip of his ears. He might be smitten with a small man with a breathtaking smile. Might be. 

**Author's Note:**

> wow i just wrote this wow i mean WOW okay this is for sure the first chapter uhhh i wrote like 900 words tonight so mark ur calendars boys, august 3/4 i wrote 900 words of ratatouille fanfiction.  
> This is dedicated to my boi Gwauis who is helping me out with this. Go check out her Merlin fanfic its the best, no diggity doubt.


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